So, I was out checking my mail today… and, surprise surprise, I got fan mail! Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, but I got this card… It’s got a cute little kittie in front it says :”Thinking of you”. Aw, how sweet! Let’s see what it says. “Dear Chloe, you’re so awesome and I think I’m in love with you.” Who isn’t? “I hope you like me too. Yours Steve. Xoxoxoxo”. Steve? It was really nice of you to send me this card, but… I don’t like it! I could care less about this shit! Honestly? I don’t even like cats! OK? Oh, my God! So, this is what I think about your little letter. And, I hope you like me too? I’m sure this answers your question. This is actually kind of fun! So… I gotta thank you at least for giving me some entertainment for today! Let’s see what we can do… I mean, did you honestly think that sending me a card was gonna make me like you? No! That’s so fucking retarded! I mean, come on, only little kids do that! Oh, do you like me, circle yes or no! Oh, fucking asshole. That’s what I think about your stupid card! We can get a lot more fun with this! Ready? Oh, yes, let it burn! Let the motherfucker burn! It’s so fun! That’s what I think about your card and this is what I think about you! You fucking failure! Let it burn, just let it burn. Let the whole thing burn to pieces! Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll send back the ashes to you! Oh, oh, I’m sorry, did I make you cry?! Oh, that’s right! Fucking use your tears to jack off! Jack off while you’re looking at my hot nice ass! Because I know that’s what you like! Watch your letter burn and just jack off with your tears! Fucking retard! Like you actually thought I was gonna like your letter? So pathetic! That’s what I thought of it! Burn, burn! Oh, yes! That fire feels so good on my ass! Oh, at least you did one thing to make me feel good! Oh, you fucking pathetic loser! I can’t stand you! I can’t believe a car would make me happy? From you? Yeah right! Maybe if it was from Brad Pitt! But you’re nothing compared to Brad Pitt. You’re like shit that comes out of Brad Pitt’s ass! No, you’re not even that good, you’re worse than that! Whatever, you can just keep jacking off by looking at my ass and knowing what a fucking failure you are and you’ll never get this! Alright? Well I gotta go throw your card away now, so… Fuck you later!
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